So I’m laying in bed with my dog. She’s on her side and down by the foot of the bed, I’m on my side. She wakes up, looks at me, and slowly and deliberately army crawls towards me. Like I won’t notice her. I was going to tell her to stop because I knew how this would end, but she gave me the cutest freaking look so I was just like…..fine. Now, I’m laying in bed with a SIXTY FUCKING POUND PITBULL ON MY LAP. She’s digging all of her bones into my legs and she’s snoring.
Annnnnnd now she farted. So I have a gassy, snoring pitbull in my lap, and a vast expanse of bed I can’t lay in because I’m pinned down.
Moral of the story? I should have gotten a cat.